I'll not let anyone hurt her
by Rosine
Summary: Spoiler S2e08. Cora finds something out, spoiled summary inside. Corrected


Thanks to Fighting-this-War who beta-read it in retrospect.

Rating: T

Warning : Spoiler s02e08

Summary: I hope Cora never finds out about Robert unspeakable behaviour, but if she does, I hope it's that way.

Disclaimer: Downton Abbey and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction. I only own the plot line.

**I'll****not****let****anyone****hurt****her**

"If you think I am going to stand by while you destroy everything you have it coming…"

Cora had come downstairs to look over the week's menu with Mrs. Patmore when she heard rather loud voices coming from Mrs. Hughes's sitting room.

"Be sensible Miss O'Brien. Her ladyship needs to know…"

"No! You won't tell her! I will not allow it."

Cora frowned. She knew her maid could be spiteful and unsubordinated but she usually showed some respect to the housekeeper.

"It is quite enough."

Well if Carson was there to it ought to be something important. Cora stepped inside.

"She needn't know…"

"What 'needn't I know', O'Brien?"

The heads of staff management leaped to their feet and O'Brien looked positively horrified. The butler opened his mouth but before he could say a word, her lady's maid had cut in.

"Mr. Carson surprised me while I was stealing some silver my Lady."

"Why don't I believe that? You are smart enough to know that my jewellery would make a much safer target. O'Brien what is really going on?"

"I'm pregnant."

"And who might the father be?"

"Thomas, my Lady."

This was getting nowhere.

"One hears rumour. There are less chances of Thomas fathering a child than my mother-in-law grounding for women's right. Mrs Hughes will you kindly tell me what this is all about?"

The housekeeper and the butler looked at each other quite ill at ease then they began to speak at the same time and stopped after a few words.

"It's about Jane…"

"His Lordship…"

"What would his Lordship have to do with…"

Comprehension and pain arrived at the same time. She swayed and O'Brien reached to support her before she could even initiate a gesture towards a chair. The maid's eyes were shooting daggers while she helped her sitting down. After Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson had explained the extent of their discovery Cora took a deep breath and rose.

"O'Brien please fetch my coat. Carson, would you please ask for the motor to be ready to take me to the dower house? And Mrs. Hughes… I don't think I will have luncheon here, if you could…"

"Right away, your ladyship."

The three other people left the room but not without throwing her worried glances.

-)-

Her mother-in-law couldn't have been more surprised to see her. She even asked her if she had forgotten a previous appointment or if something had happened to the girls or Robert. Cora took the time to take off her gloves before approaching the subject.

"I need your advice on how to act as a Lady."

Well obviously the Dowager Countess could be more surprised.

"You made it quite clear that you didn't want those kinds of advices anymore."

"Things change, Mama. How does a lady act when she discovers her husband is unfaithful to her?"

"Why would you need to know that; Robert would never…"

"I'm afraid I do."

"I cannot believe it. With whom would he …"

"A maid."

"And then she stayed there as if nothing had happened? Or was it an ongoing thing?"

"She left the Saturday before Lavinia's funeral."

"But when did that happen? Surely you would have noticed…"

"Tuesday night, most probably."

"But that's the night you got sick…"

"It is. I'm afraid I didn't really notice anything at that time."

"But surely Robert wouldn't…"

"Mrs. Hughes is quite sure. And I don't really want to talk about it. I only need to know what I should do."

"Nothing. That is you have to act as if nothing happened. Does Robert know?"

"No I don't think so."

"Well he can't know. Is he still sharing your room?"

"Not since I have been sick."

"Oh, yes, I remember his offering to sleep in his dressing room even before we knew it was the Spanish flu."

"Did he? I don't really remember that night. And I don't think I want to."

There was a bit of silence. Lady Violet seemed to believe it – and was becoming angrier by the minute – and Cora was still feeling tired and overwhelmed. For once allowing herself to be led by her mother-in-law was very tempting. She was already depressed because of Miss Swire's death and the flu – Clarkson had said it was to be expected – and now that Robert had betrayed her…

"Am I that bad that he couldn't even wait for me to be dead before he found a replacement?"

The Dowager Countess joined her on the chaise longue and put a comforting hand on her forearm.

"It may come as a surprise to you but I think you are a great match for Robert. I know I was opposed to your wedding but it had much more to do with the fact I thought you an opportunist that wouldn't make my son happy. But you have."

"Did I really? Taking another woman to his bed while I was hanging between life and death seems a rather unusual way to prove it. I might have neglected him during the last year but…"

"But it is no excuse for what he did. Men are entitled to and even expected to have liaisons. But I would have thought that if he did he would make sure it remained a secret and would have the decency to have it while you were up and about, not dying."

"Most of the American heiresses that I know of have been made fools of by their husbands… and I always thought I was lucky that Robert… respected me enough not to put me through that. Now I can't help but wonder if it was me or his name he respected more."

"I thought it was more than respect he had for you."

Cora lowered her head. She had thought so too. Now she wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't sure of anything except she was tired and hurting.

"Would you mind me staying here for luncheon, Mama? I'm not ready to face him now."

"Of course you can stay, my dear."

"Thank you. Tonight I will be the Countess of Grantham again but now I am just hurting. I know you disapprove of emotional display but I thought it would be better here than in Downton Abbey."

"You are entitled to; after all, you're an American."

There was some tenderness underneath the usual insult and it didn't sting as it normally did when someone held it against her.

"Do you think I can do it? Play acting the perfect British lady?"

"You've done it before, when my husband died. I remembered overhearing one of the maids asking who had died and made you Queen. She didn't know at the time."

"It was easy; I despised your husband."

"Alright then. You did it when you carried a corpse across the house to save your daughter's honour."

"I didn't have a choice."

"And you don't have one now. You will have to rise to the occasion. You have to play the loving wife, my dear. Everyone would know something is amiss if you were to appear differently."

"I know."

"It doesn't mean you can't make him suffer in private though. Does O'Brien know?"

"Yes but I don't see…"

"She can help you to plot ways to get back to him."

"Is that really wise?"

"No. But unless you want to forgive him right away it's the best course of action as long as you keep up the decorum."

-)-

"I wish you'd stay here my lady."

O'Brien was tightening her corset to get her ready for supper.

"No. I have a reputation to maintain."

"You've been very ill my lady. No one would say a thing."

"But it isn't because I was ill that you want to keep me here, is it? What you did this morning…"

"I'm sorry my lady, I was out of line."

"No you were right. I didn't want to know about it. It has changed the way I see him, the way I think of him. I wasn't happy because I thought the distance between us was my doing but unhappy was better than betrayed. If ever someone discovers a betrayal, I don't want to know about it, even if it has harmed me, even if it has done me wrong… illusions are easier to live with. Confessing may help a guilty mind but it burdens its recipient, in the end it's just selfish…"

During her speech O'Brien had begun to help her in her dress so she couldn't see the maid's face. Cora wasn't usually so introspective but then she wasn't usually forced to reconsider the steadiest relationship in her life. She sat in front of her dressing table while the lady's maid was laying her day clothes on the bed.

"What you did this morning… Why did you risk your job? I don't understand."

O'Brien's gaze met hers in the mirror while her hands were in her hair.

"I hoped that they would see reason and not tell you the truth if you believed me."

"But if I had believed you I would have dismissed you on the spot… Do you wish to leave?"

"Oh no, my lady! I would never wish to leave you, but if it had avoided you this heartache it would have been worth it."

"Dear O'Brien, I don't know what I have done to deserve you. God knows I couldn't function properly without you. I don't remember much from that time but Sybil told me you barely left my side when I was ill. I don't know how I will ever repay your kindness."

"Don't think about it my lady. I couldn't have left when you needed me. I f something had happened and I hadn't been there I would never have forgiven myself."

"None of us would have."

The door had opened on their side and Robert had stepped in. O'Brien's hand immediately left her hair and quite boldly squeezed her shoulder. Cora forced a smile onto her lips and faced her husband. He looked awful, tired and perhaps eaten by remorse but that might be wishful thinking on her part.

"You look dashing."

"And you look much better. I gather you had luncheon with my mother?"

He seemed genuinely interested but his voice seemed a bit strained. Because he was feeling guilty she decided. And he was already suffering enough she decided. Playing the good wife would be punishment enough she decided.

"Yes. I went there just to be able to chat a little but I was feeling too tired to come back before lunch. I'm better now, don't worry, darling."

"I'm glad."

"Head down, I'll join you in a minute."

He kissed her hand and left the women alone. O'Brien finished her hair.

"I'll not let anyone hurt you any more my Lady. And it's us who don't deserve it, not the other way around."

End (unless I decide to write a bit more about it.)

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Hope you liked it, please let me know if I'm the only one going berserk over Robert's action


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